Tag Archive: #spiritualthinking


“Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us,” is the nature of forgiveness.  I thank God that he placed the ability to forgive others in my heart.  I have been wronged in so many ways by teachers, co-workers, family, so-called friends and ex lovers.  I’ve even had to extend forgiveness to the man who currently holds my heart.  However, I’m not a bitter person, an angry black woman and a people hater.  I still amplify agape love.   I have really developed the talent to understand people for where they are in their own walk with God and I accept the fact that “hurt people, hurt people”.

I am a true believer in Karma.  When I became attuned as a Reiki Healer, I cleared my Karmic Debt and have become very mindful of how I treat people and what energy I put out in the world.  I am far from perfect and have added more things to my Karmic slate since then, but God knows I’m nowhere close to where I once was.  I say all that to say, treating people badly that has treated me badly does nothing for my soul.  Call me a punk, a pushover, gullible if you dare.  I just chose not to “hurt” a “hurt” person because they “hurt” me.

Sometimes it’s hard to forgive myself.  I often question agape love versus the familiarity of misery.  I am working on this daily because the people I attract are actually a mirror of myself.  I’m confident that once I learn to treat myself better and truly take on a spirit of humility, that I’ll have less instances of being hurt by others.

Galatians 5:22-23  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” 

This weekend I invested a lot of time focusing on spiritual cleansing.  I felt as if I needed to get grounded among the abundance of the universe.  The benefits of taking time out of your day to appreciate the greatness already within your world are amazing.  Appreciation for the small things becomes more prevalent and sincere.  When your heart is filled with gratitude versus remorse or regret, it allows your true purpose to come forth.  Today, I give gratitude for God given talents.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

God’s light within you shines differently than your neighbors.  We all have unique talents to build an empire off of.  From my observation, those that are living out their purpose shine the brightest.  One of the famous sayings regarding following your dreams states “if you’re doing what you love, it doesn’t feel like work”.  If you read about the history of self made millionaires, they followed their passions first, and the money followed.  As a result, some were able to become the biggest philanthropist.  Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Alicia Keys etc…  In the words of Steve Harvey “you can’t help anybody broke”.  Ain’t that the truth?

Last October, I decided to leave the sales field and I have been in a state of panic and uncertainty every since.  The occupation was stifling me spiritually as I felt I was not using my working hours serving the universe or fulfilling my purpose of being a healer.  My deeds were only getting a corporation and its executives wealthier and I got caught in a cycle of redundancy and monetary competition.  My experiences since, has made me more humble and trusting of God that he’ll keep me while I find my way on the path he wants me to follow.  I am so grateful for this journey.  Many don’t get the opportunity to step away from the hustle of Corporate America to truly find themselves.  Most that do, don’t take advantage of the time given.

I asked God to give me insight into what my purpose was nearly eight years ago.  Once revealed, I remained disobedient for years afterwards.  Now that I’ve allowed God to remove garments of fear from my soul, I am not only grateful but proud of the talents he blessed me with.  I am a writer, a counselor and motivator to many and most importantly, the sole caregiver of a young man that is destined to heal the world in his own way.  I am so thankful and honored.  Therefore, I vow to never let my light go dull, to consistently work on perfecting my parenting and writing skills, and to combine diligent work and non-wavering faith.  My eyes have finally seen God’s glory and my feet shall forever follow.

 

Over the past few days, the world’s media has had non-stop coverage of the hunt and capture of the Boston Marathon bombers.  The blasts resulted in three deaths including an eight year old boy.  His death made me recount another disheartening event when twenty elementary age children were gunned down in Newtown, CT December of last year.  While driving on highways, I see Amber Alerts flashed across electronic bill boards often.  Facebook posts give daily reminders that somebody’s baby is missing with pleas for the child’s safe return.  Today, I give gratitude for God’s constant protection on me, my children, my siblings and parents.

My son, who will be turning nine this year, spends most of his waking hours during the week at school and after school.  During this time, his well being is placed in the hands of school administration, bus drivers and after school teachers.  He has never come home harmed mentally or physically.  He and I are in the car quite often, we have flown and drove across the country and he spends a lot of time outdoors with his friends.  Thank God for ensuring we, most importantly he, made it home safely.  He may be bruised and scratched up due to his adventures of being a boy king, but his injuries has been nothing that home remedies and kisses in the right places can’t fix.

As I’m preparing to give life to another child, I am grateful for the power of motherhood and God giving me the ability to create and birth life.  It’s not until I lost a child due to a miscarriage that I truly began to understand the magic of carrying life within my womb.  As an unmarried mother of two, I have struggled many days financially yet Tyler and I have NEVER been without food, shelter, clothes and love.  I know God will safeguard the newest addition to our family as well.  I love him so much so this!!

Lastly, 2013 has seen a lot of deaths, either naturally or from senseless violence.  Nearly everyone I know has been to a funeral of someone who left this earth way too soon.  I couldn’t imagine the grief of my parents having to bury me.  All parents wish to have their children out live them.  Lord knows, I’ve had my knucklehead moments.  I also travel a lot by myself and love a good adventure.  God assured that I never ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I look forward to seeing my parents at my children’s graduations.

I’m so fortunate to have my family and God in my life.  I’m learning to become less controlling of every moment and give custody of my life to the creator of my life.  In this day and age it seems as if the world is going to hell in a hand basket.  Therefore, being grounded and one with God as well as consistently keeping your children, brothers, sisters and parents in prayer is a must.  Giving gratitude to God for doing just what you ask for is an additional must!

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children–” Psalms 103:17

 

I posed a question to a group of girlfriends regarding communication issues within relationships.  Reason being, I came to a point in my own relationship, that I wanted to lead by example.  However,  I’m admittedly an untrained teacher.  My friend suggested that I read the book Love Dare written by Alex and Stephen Kendrick as a guide.  She mentioned her marriage was positively impacted by applying the principles learned in the book.

I must say that Love Dare, based off the movie Fireproof,  will be added to my list of literature that altered my process of thinking and actions.  The biggest take away for me after watching the film, is that submitting to unconditional love is a choice.  Without a doubt it’s one of the biggest and most rewarding decisions a human can ever make.  Conjointly, I accepted a new ideology on love –  love in its purest form is loving with every fiber you’re made of, expecting nothing in return from your loved ones.

The poem below was inspired by the film Fireproof.

“Loving is living simply because love creates life
and if the world we live in is full of boundless possibilities
why is it that love has so many barriers,
self-imposed restrictions
a most wanted list of superficial needs
a defined definite number of forgiveness passes

And we wonder why love don’t last
instead of offering up our last
we stop at half
fractionating the relationships in US communities
by using generational ass backwards math

A full circle never equated to 100%
and if you’re only willing to go half the distance
on a cut off, society drawn up road map
that statistically has taken marriages down the wrong path 41% of the time
then you won’t be able to comprehend
sticking it out when love starts to burn
and offer selfless self-sacrifice in order to douse the flames
you may or may not have cooked up
see fault is irrelevant when your home is crumbling to an unidentified house
sometimes you have to lose yourself to save your father’s inheritance

So let your heart boil to pure gush at the point of 212◦
the atmospheric changes will elevate your thoughts and actions
your ability to love beyond conditions
your patience to solve a problem when the solution isn’t easily divisible by two
x plus you has to equate to 360, symbolized by a wedding ring

Achievers always keeps the end goal in mind
so don’t proclaim to be marriage material
or a good husband or wife
when you’re only willing to work at it part-time
inhibited from giving more than your perceived all
due to an ailment that has made generations of men fall
pride.

Love and pride don’t mix like two people and one wish
you find yourself in serious…
a seriously lonely place
and although we all came in this world alone
no one wants to die that way
so love everyday with the end in mind
it’s the greatest gift ever to be bestowed on you in your lifetime
but you have to work hard to keep it indestructible
damn near fireproof…”   

©2012 Tenisha M Jones

The destination of this new found path we’re on
has our hands intertwined,
faces smiling,
my steps are slightly behind yours,
hearts blinded…
to whispered wished stop signs
by those who’s thoroughfare to self love is still under construction

This journey was a turn in the right direction that I almost missed
my mental road map was full of inked life lines
that had me in continual circles of disappointment
all in an attempt to find myself

I didn’t know where I was going,
I was fearful of the increased speed required by higher ways
that would land me at the starting point of my purpose
new territories made me feel timid
and although all signs read only the strong survive
I kept missing the message
due to my lack of third eye foresight

I wanted to live, life
instead of letting life dictate how I live
driving me crazy
self imposed
complacent cruise control
had me going nowhere

Until I gave you the wheel
and stopped fighting your attempts
to reach for my hand every time I pulled away
you found lost ways to make my frowns scatter
never failing to place me on your shoulders
when I couldn’t take another step
I let you chip away at the hardness of my life
to soften my heart

As a passenger with a window seat
I began seeing the color of flowers
clouds now had the shape of animals and letters to me
the grass appeared greener
I watched the height of birds
and envisioned how high I can soar with you

I can now embrace you
free of feeling awkward
and proclaim in a loud whisper
I’ll go where you want to me to go
my steps will follow the direction of your footprints
down the path to life’s joy

My walk with God…

(not sure how I’m ending it yet)

©2012 Tenisha M Jones

 

IF YOU ENJOY MY WORK, PLEASE CONSIDER PURCHASING MY FIRST SELF PUBLISHED CHAPBOOK – A GEMINI’S SYLLOGISM FOR $10.  https://tenishajones.com/2012/01/19/373/

OR CONTACT ME AT tenishamjones@yahoo.com TO FIND OUT HOW TO ORDER A COPY OR USE THIS EMAIL AND SEND THE $10 TO MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT.

The old folks and pro lifers say babies are not mistakes
they declare that the creation of a new soul is a gift from God
and while my moral being believes that to be true
the logical perception of my brain says something is all fucked up in this messaging

What words will I use to communicate to my baby
that he was conceived from an act of sin
to provide a lesson of realization
yet avoiding the visualization of the shaking of God’s head
at the time of his conception
I don’t want to cause him to walk with his head hanged low
because the timing of his entrance was a missed projection
since mommy was still carrying her maiden name

I’m a grown ass woman and I still can’t let go of a similar mental picture
I did a lot of praying in order to make my neck stronger
since my head was carrying such dreadful thoughts
just knowing my brother and I’s existence
is only because of my mom’s denials to make man made wishes come true

The women in my family were taught two important things regarding our vaginas
one-not to douche too often
two-never cleanse your womb of seeds
both are known to dry your pussy up
the latter is an undesirable stake
of the lustful mistakes
made by adults who like fucking each other
more than they like talking to one another
two people who labeled naked slow grinding as making love
so it’ll sound more acceptable
versus taking it slow and first falling in love
before creating a being stated to symbolize God’s love

I swear I’m confused,
I adore my son, niece and nephew
and I damn sure love being me
and having a big brother who will do anything to make me happy
but society’s label of the last two generations within my family being a mistaken curse
makes me pissed yet forces me to really think
we have to teach our children differently

My mom is my hero for believing she was a bearer of blessings
and I strive to make my father swallow his words
I’m an irreplaceable piece of life
a prize for his sobriety
but if the flip was switched on a manmade human substance vacuum
he would be missing mine and my baby’s existence
and our homemade Christmas and birthday cards
his walls would resemble his life without me-bare

A part of me will forever be mad at my dad
for his momentary consideration to kill me
but me knowing my soul’s existence was damn near past tense
forces me to take a stand on an issue that the man in my life accepts and respects
but my heart tells me he’ll never understand
since all his children and siblings were preplanned

An abortion would have made the story of my life an imagined dream
a fantasy that my lover would never have had the pleasure of experiencing
my son’s smile would be voided from the world
at no time would my greatness be known
I can’t fathom being a lost, erased, vacuumed and disposed of entity

All adults know the consequences of making mistakes
and most have heard the definition of accountability
whether they chose to apply it – is an individual decision
as is abortion

But me living an unwanted actually
gives me the conviction that humans should never play God
and decide to scrape his blessings away
I pled with people as well as myself to wrap it up
instead of wiping the world of an ordained soul’s permanence
The old folks and pro lifers say babies are never mistakes
and I happen to agree

© 2012 Tenisha M Jones

However your emotions sway, you will absolutely love the self published poetry book, A Gemini’s Syllogism

For Immediate Release

Tenisha M Jones
Pineville, NC
(704) 359-7044

THE SIDEWAYS LOGIC OF A GEMINI IS NOW REVEALED

Are you a fan of poetry? If so, you’ll absolutely fall in love with Tenisha Jones’ debut book, A Gemini’s Syllogism. Tenisha is a spoken word artist out of Charlotte, NC who possesses unique view points on love, social affairs and the nation’s morality.  A Gemini’s Syllogism is a collection of poems touching five subjects from two different perspectives. Each stanza provides thought provoking challenges for us all to view our neighbors with more of an open mind while taking a more realistic view of the reflection staring at us all in the mirror.

As a single parent, 30 something career woman, Tenisha Jones’ views are definetly not mainstream and her talents allow her to create unique imagery that serves as an easy yet delightful read.  Copies of A Gemini’s Syllogism are available for shipping for $10 and $1 for shipping.  The book can also be ordered for Kindle devices for $3.99.

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Dear Potential:

It’s been a year or so since you and I tapped into one another
we had the possibility of taking over the world
but the reality is I’m sandwiched between these four walls
wondering why you’re not here
trying to remember how & why we separated
and when will you return?

I’m not comfortable, secure, ambitious or confident when you’re not around
and I can’t apologize enough for my delayed revelation
of the power of you in my life
In the past my mental weakness convinced me
that you were too good to be true
the loud cheers of wealth and love
the visual confirmation that my name will be greatness
you gave me day after day, night after night
slowly diminished to once in a blue moon whispers
then to deadly silence
provoked by my lack of forward moving steps
to pave the way and attain what you told me to

I became a dormant corpse with a soul unable to be revived
now-I want to live, because without you, I’m missing life too
I’ve been on my knees praying daily
to be reunited with the two of you
and God told me it’s time to truly repent
for the errors of my ways
and allowing the poison of qualm to numb my brain
and forcefully push you out
potential and doubt can’t dwell in the same house
and my heart is a home that should only be
decorated by you into a welcoming space
where success, love and purposed power like to hang out

So let’s try this again
will you become my best friend
if the division of effort is no longer 90 to 10
if I promise to pull my weight
instead of holding you down with disbelief
so we can both rise and grow into existence
I’m ready now to see the depth of possibilities
you have in store for me
teach me your reality
let’s devise a plan to start taking over the world again
where in the future my last name will be greatness-alongside yours.

I’ll see you tonight in my dreams,

 Tenisha M. Jones-PotentialGreatness

“The construction of words
used to form a poem
follows the melody of lead
harmonizing with tattered paper
that calms the pulsating pain
of a wounded soul
wrapped so tightly in hope
that the feeling of failure
can’t circulate in the hearts
of those that read the constructed stanzas”
©2011 Tenisha M Jones

Many of us believe and preach that the tongue is one of man’s most powerful weapons. As a poet, I write out my dreams because I believe I can truly bring words to life.  Currently, I try not to  mention the past in my pieces unless I’m speaking of a solution.  The past is behind me and verbal repetition of my mistakes causes wounds to remain open.  I’m on a path of healing myself from the nasty combination of diseases self loathing, procrastination and naysaying thoughts. 

Maybe odd to some,  but I strongly believe continual ungrateful, envious, and/or doubtful thought patterns-become engrained and registered in your brain’s chemical make up.  This is what causes true innovative imagination to be displayed as nightmarish scenes that kills belief in one’s self.  The recapping of demonic images spews pessimistic energy attracting bullshit circumstances and like-minded people who have a passion for hating life.  But at one point,  the burden of hatred – “I hate we didn’t work out, I hate I didn’t get that job, I hate her ass looks better than mine, I hate this city” – fills souls and leaves little room for joy.  We would all love to enjoy living more, but we have to re-train our brains.  Once this process begins. positive thoughts yield positive words and actions.

Members of Alcoholics Anonymous and I have a lot in common, we want to live a life clean and sober of  harmful patterns.  It’s a daily struggle.  The recovery is ongoing for me because after 30 years of conditioning, I’m addicted to dissatisfaction.  The feeling of never having enough of what I want doesn’t escape me for long.  And I know better.

Mental rehabilitation is Step 0 in any recovery program.  The transformation to a positive person from a negative person can’t be done overnight.  But it can be accomplished.  While doing research online, I came across these steps of personal accountability to help implement mental rehabilitation:

*We admit we were powerless over addictions—that our lives had become unmanageable.
*Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
*Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 
*Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
*Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
*Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
*Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
*Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
*Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
*Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
*Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 
*Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Does the above mentioned 12 steps sound familiar?  These outlined action items were proposed in 1939 by the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous to assist in the “recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems“.  Denying oneself the ability to enjoy every moment of life is a compulsive behavioral problem that unfortunately too many of us suffer from. 

Due to the fact that detrimental thinking is the norm in this world, CDC has yet to label this condition as an ear born disease.  Yet it’s destroying our bodies by causing stress, crumbling the foundation of relationships due to lack of self-worth and diminishing hope that dreams are obtainable. 

I’m tired of suffering from it and I am on my way to recovering the optimistic pieces of me.  I need the help of my readers.  Those that are having a hard time remaining blissful and excited about the realities and lessons of life, make your views anonymous.  The tongue is one of the universe’s most powerful weapons and I’ve chosen to use mine’s to save lives.  Can I be your sponsor?