Category: Single Parents


This weekend I invested a lot of time focusing on spiritual cleansing.  I felt as if I needed to get grounded among the abundance of the universe.  The benefits of taking time out of your day to appreciate the greatness already within your world are amazing.  Appreciation for the small things becomes more prevalent and sincere.  When your heart is filled with gratitude versus remorse or regret, it allows your true purpose to come forth.  Today, I give gratitude for God given talents.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

God’s light within you shines differently than your neighbors.  We all have unique talents to build an empire off of.  From my observation, those that are living out their purpose shine the brightest.  One of the famous sayings regarding following your dreams states “if you’re doing what you love, it doesn’t feel like work”.  If you read about the history of self made millionaires, they followed their passions first, and the money followed.  As a result, some were able to become the biggest philanthropist.  Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Alicia Keys etc…  In the words of Steve Harvey “you can’t help anybody broke”.  Ain’t that the truth?

Last October, I decided to leave the sales field and I have been in a state of panic and uncertainty every since.  The occupation was stifling me spiritually as I felt I was not using my working hours serving the universe or fulfilling my purpose of being a healer.  My deeds were only getting a corporation and its executives wealthier and I got caught in a cycle of redundancy and monetary competition.  My experiences since, has made me more humble and trusting of God that he’ll keep me while I find my way on the path he wants me to follow.  I am so grateful for this journey.  Many don’t get the opportunity to step away from the hustle of Corporate America to truly find themselves.  Most that do, don’t take advantage of the time given.

I asked God to give me insight into what my purpose was nearly eight years ago.  Once revealed, I remained disobedient for years afterwards.  Now that I’ve allowed God to remove garments of fear from my soul, I am not only grateful but proud of the talents he blessed me with.  I am a writer, a counselor and motivator to many and most importantly, the sole caregiver of a young man that is destined to heal the world in his own way.  I am so thankful and honored.  Therefore, I vow to never let my light go dull, to consistently work on perfecting my parenting and writing skills, and to combine diligent work and non-wavering faith.  My eyes have finally seen God’s glory and my feet shall forever follow.

 

Over the past few days, the world’s media has had non-stop coverage of the hunt and capture of the Boston Marathon bombers.  The blasts resulted in three deaths including an eight year old boy.  His death made me recount another disheartening event when twenty elementary age children were gunned down in Newtown, CT December of last year.  While driving on highways, I see Amber Alerts flashed across electronic bill boards often.  Facebook posts give daily reminders that somebody’s baby is missing with pleas for the child’s safe return.  Today, I give gratitude for God’s constant protection on me, my children, my siblings and parents.

My son, who will be turning nine this year, spends most of his waking hours during the week at school and after school.  During this time, his well being is placed in the hands of school administration, bus drivers and after school teachers.  He has never come home harmed mentally or physically.  He and I are in the car quite often, we have flown and drove across the country and he spends a lot of time outdoors with his friends.  Thank God for ensuring we, most importantly he, made it home safely.  He may be bruised and scratched up due to his adventures of being a boy king, but his injuries has been nothing that home remedies and kisses in the right places can’t fix.

As I’m preparing to give life to another child, I am grateful for the power of motherhood and God giving me the ability to create and birth life.  It’s not until I lost a child due to a miscarriage that I truly began to understand the magic of carrying life within my womb.  As an unmarried mother of two, I have struggled many days financially yet Tyler and I have NEVER been without food, shelter, clothes and love.  I know God will safeguard the newest addition to our family as well.  I love him so much so this!!

Lastly, 2013 has seen a lot of deaths, either naturally or from senseless violence.  Nearly everyone I know has been to a funeral of someone who left this earth way too soon.  I couldn’t imagine the grief of my parents having to bury me.  All parents wish to have their children out live them.  Lord knows, I’ve had my knucklehead moments.  I also travel a lot by myself and love a good adventure.  God assured that I never ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I look forward to seeing my parents at my children’s graduations.

I’m so fortunate to have my family and God in my life.  I’m learning to become less controlling of every moment and give custody of my life to the creator of my life.  In this day and age it seems as if the world is going to hell in a hand basket.  Therefore, being grounded and one with God as well as consistently keeping your children, brothers, sisters and parents in prayer is a must.  Giving gratitude to God for doing just what you ask for is an additional must!

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children–” Psalms 103:17

 

A friend of mine did a 10-day praise challenge and mentioned that the experience was exhilarating for her. During this time of chaos in the world and my own internal conflicts, I thought a praise challenge of my own would be extremely beneficial. Many times, most of our mental energy is spent on reflecting on the why not, why me, when will the pain go away- that we neglect to take pride and honor in the blessings we already have.

Today, I give gratitude to God for his Mercy. According to Wikipedia, mercy “is a broad term that refers to benevolence, forgiveness and kindness in a variety of ethical, religious, social and legal contexts.” God has provided a shield for me in all contexts above. I’ll admit that my personal relationship with God fluctuates based upon my level of happiness. When I am the most content in my life, I tend to stray from learning and meditating on God’s word. My dedication to serving others diminishes and my prayers are said in faint tones, if at all. It’s not because I’m arrogant enough to believe God didn’t help me accomplish the elation I feel within. I just become so wrapped up in the moments and/or relationships, that I have a two track mind. Me and mine.

Conversely, in times of despair and confusion, I call on God to save me multiple times in a matter of minutes. My spirituality has taught me that my relationship with God will never waiver. It’s amazing how watching/listening to Joyce Meyer before I rise out of bed to start my day, tuning into the gospel radio station during my daily commute or giving God thanks for the great and even foolish people I encounter, gives my day and every moment within it a greater purpose.

Today I give thanks and praise to God for loving me unconditionally although my love for him has been conditional at times. I’m grateful for the discernment God has provided me with that I need to improve my on and off again spiritual connection in order to keep joy within my heart. I realized today that I have always been forgiven and welcomed to talk to God no matter how high my sins stacked. Therefore, I need to extend a more forgiving and non judgmental heart to others. I’m forever indebted due to having the most loving figure known to man to talk to on the loneliest of nights. My debts will be repaid by loving and appreciating myself and my family more, proactively serving the community and extending agape love to every soul that crosses paths with mine. I will be as merciful to others as God is to me.

A(she) and A(men)

Luke 6:36

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

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     Most will say that the last few days of the year should be spent in reflection. Others even go as far as strategizing how the first week of the new year will be spent. Believing that how you bring in the year is how the rest of the year will go. Admittedly, I’ve tried all these tactics in my past. I took a vow of silence the last 48 hours of 2011, in the hopes of receiving divine direction. It was the most peaceful two days I encountered. However, the year that followed was the most treacherous.

     2012 has a been a year of self discovery for me. Partly from forced life lessons, others I searched for. What I’ve come to learn is that peaceful moments will always reveal themselves when a person is in search of it. However, it’s the maintenance of peacefulness that we seem to struggle with the most. The wrestling of our spirits is what keeps many of us up at night or knelt in prayer. Our spirits act as if it’s imprisoned within us.

     At this same time last year, during my fast from speaking, I allowed my spirit to rest. As a result, I received the answers from God that I was looking for. Prayer, fasting and reading spiritual literature allowed me to subdue logical thinking that was blocking any other voice besides my own. Although, I hear God’s voice more frequently now, my own inner voice is still the loudest and has the most impact.

God’s voice told me go,
my own voice told me to stay.
Stay comfortable.

God’s voice told you to go,
your own voice told you to stay.
Stay safe.

     We have become a nation of comfortably safe insomniacs. We’ve slept walked into a time when Mayan culture predicted wouldn’t exist. We’ve witnessed the mass murdering of babies in a fashion we never would’ve dreamed of. The desire to remain asleep should be no more.

     The media laughed and corporations capitalized off the Mayan philosophy of our world coming to an end. No attention was paid to the additional aspects of their theory that this age in time could not be predicted as the “dead is to be born again”. Today, more than ever life is what you make of it. How can we live life to its fullest half awake?

     As many of the world’s inhabitants were preparing for the world to end, others mocked the predicted concept. There are few who prepared for their calling to teach to be revealed. Faith is a learned and re-learned belief. It’s the enlightened ones who allowed the imprisonment of their spirit, God’s voice, to start a new beginning by experiencing freedom. A purposed filled life isn’t birthed until your voice repeats that of God’s and your feet begin to walk down your newly claimed cleared path. According to the book of James, “for the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.”

     As 2013 approaches, reflect on all your previous reflections you have yet to act upon. I guarantee nights will become more restful and smiles will become a more frequently seen fixture on your face once you accept your membership as apart of the Holy Trinity. Your spirit should not be competing with the views of the world or your ego. In 2013, stop thinking so much….and just DO. Just GO! Just BE PURPOSELY HAPPY!

I committed mail fraud
the day I confiscated my son’s note to Santa
a criminal act done out of heart felt intentions
to make a little boy’s eyes light up
as bright as the remaining working bulbs on our
anorexic, vertically challenged tree.

A crime of passion
with limited unhappy consequences
well so I thought…
especially since the ghosts of Christmas past
has known me to be the only parental helper
Santa has for him

My son’s seasonal wish list
with hand sketched hearts for postage
unintentionally excluding a destination of return if unread
innocence still gives him the confidence that all wishes can come true
when you believe with your whole heart,
so he made sure not to leave any white marks
in-between the red outlines.

As I unsealed the envelope shaped construction paper,
the cracks in our family structure became visible
avoidance is longer a strong enough adhesive
to seal emotional wounds

He wrote:

Dear Santa:

All I want for Christmas is for my dad
to come and play with me
so I can tell him I forgive him and love him

Please and thank you.

On Christmas Eve,
instead of wrapping gifts
I knelt in prayer for a Christmas miracle
for Santa to deliver potential impossibilities down the chimney.

I hope the North Pole UPS workers delivered my letter.

I wrote:

Dear Santa:

Don’t let my son’s heart turn into coal

Please, I beg of you

Bah! Humbug!