Category: Praise Challenge


“Your reputation is in the hands of others. That’s what the reputation is. You can’t control that. The only thing you can control is your character.”
Wayne W. Dyer

This morning, as I laid in a state of deep meditation, I began to cry tears of graditude.  My life is changing, simply because my perception of life has changed.  Those who are closest to me spiritually applaud the change.  They know my previous way of thinking and the level of self criticism I placed on myself was my biggest road block.  My big ass brain, which holds tons on intellect, was also cluttered with fear and guilt.

It has taken me over five years to re-train my brain and work on repressed childhood issues.  My new found happiness was a choice I made a long time ago and it takes daily discipline to appreciate and remain in it.  The stomach, which is now being scientifically tested as the “second brain”, is lead by our mental and emotional state.  Hence, the feelings of anxiety in the pit of our stomachs when we are overwhelmed.  Or, that gut feeling we have when we know something is just not right.  My stomach aches less, I feel less anxious – I can breathe now.  My brain is beginning to be led by God’s spirit.  When God’s spirit moves, I feel compelled to give birth to something or speak life into someone.

The one flaw I may never overcome is always feeling the need to defend myself.  My spirit gave me insight during my meditation today as to why.  My spirit was wrestling with sharing my revelation and the intention behind why am I feeling so compelled to share my story.  Is it to defend myself against those who have recently questioned whether or not I have been honest about my stated intentions?  Or, is it to be a testimony of how my personal connection with God is helping me understand myself and those around me better?  I still don’t know the answer.  All I know is that when God tells me to do something, I need to obey.

    “Just as we have two eyes and two  feet, duality is a part of life”
– Carlos Santana

My entire life people have questioned my intentions.  As a child I would make attempts to be funny, but it was perceived as nerve wrecking.  I would sing, attempting to enjoy a great song and I would be told to hush.  An intended song, was turned to silence.  I would yearn to give affection to others to make them smile by offering hugs, pats on the back or pecks on the cheeks.  My actions were viewed as was to intentionally draw attention upon myself.  I was labeled as fast.
As an adult, not much has changed, besides my view of the world.  At one point in my life, I let the mislabeling of the intentions behind my actions cause me to pause my emotions.  Lock them up and run from anyone who attempted to tap into them.  If my family didn’t understand the way my brain worked, how could a stranger? Or so I thought.
Now, I understand that the universe is a moving force of duality. Now I know that my brain, my actions, my words, my emotions are universal in their duality.  I may call someone a bitch baby in a post on Facebook and turn right around and post a bible scripture.  On Saturday, I post pictures of me holding champagne glasses and then Tuesday, I’m posted up in an airport, traveling across the country for business.  There’s a picture of me at work in the morning and enjoying dinner with my kids in the evening.  I may have intentions on just being someone’s friend or colleague, but speak so much life over their existence and make attempts to bring joy into their world, that they think I want more, or see them in a higher regard.
Some days, I really want to put those emotional walls back up.  To me, nothing has hurt me more in life than having genuine intentions to do the right thing and be a great person and someone rejects me due to misplacing the origins of my intentions.  Amazingly to me, I don’t ever want to block my spirit of emotions from light again.  The Law of Attraction is undeniable.  I give love, because I am love, I receive love and I deserve love.
Somebody reading this wants to love less in order to hurt less.  I urge you to not stop your flow of abundance by changing your God led intentions.  At the end of this lifetime, the only opinion that matters if that of God.  Our universe needs more people like you, like us.  Keep intentionally spreading love in this seemingly unloving world.
Hotep

“Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us,” is the nature of forgiveness.  I thank God that he placed the ability to forgive others in my heart.  I have been wronged in so many ways by teachers, co-workers, family, so-called friends and ex lovers.  I’ve even had to extend forgiveness to the man who currently holds my heart.  However, I’m not a bitter person, an angry black woman and a people hater.  I still amplify agape love.   I have really developed the talent to understand people for where they are in their own walk with God and I accept the fact that “hurt people, hurt people”.

I am a true believer in Karma.  When I became attuned as a Reiki Healer, I cleared my Karmic Debt and have become very mindful of how I treat people and what energy I put out in the world.  I am far from perfect and have added more things to my Karmic slate since then, but God knows I’m nowhere close to where I once was.  I say all that to say, treating people badly that has treated me badly does nothing for my soul.  Call me a punk, a pushover, gullible if you dare.  I just chose not to “hurt” a “hurt” person because they “hurt” me.

Sometimes it’s hard to forgive myself.  I often question agape love versus the familiarity of misery.  I am working on this daily because the people I attract are actually a mirror of myself.  I’m confident that once I learn to treat myself better and truly take on a spirit of humility, that I’ll have less instances of being hurt by others.

Galatians 5:22-23  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” 

This weekend I invested a lot of time focusing on spiritual cleansing.  I felt as if I needed to get grounded among the abundance of the universe.  The benefits of taking time out of your day to appreciate the greatness already within your world are amazing.  Appreciation for the small things becomes more prevalent and sincere.  When your heart is filled with gratitude versus remorse or regret, it allows your true purpose to come forth.  Today, I give gratitude for God given talents.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

God’s light within you shines differently than your neighbors.  We all have unique talents to build an empire off of.  From my observation, those that are living out their purpose shine the brightest.  One of the famous sayings regarding following your dreams states “if you’re doing what you love, it doesn’t feel like work”.  If you read about the history of self made millionaires, they followed their passions first, and the money followed.  As a result, some were able to become the biggest philanthropist.  Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Alicia Keys etc…  In the words of Steve Harvey “you can’t help anybody broke”.  Ain’t that the truth?

Last October, I decided to leave the sales field and I have been in a state of panic and uncertainty every since.  The occupation was stifling me spiritually as I felt I was not using my working hours serving the universe or fulfilling my purpose of being a healer.  My deeds were only getting a corporation and its executives wealthier and I got caught in a cycle of redundancy and monetary competition.  My experiences since, has made me more humble and trusting of God that he’ll keep me while I find my way on the path he wants me to follow.  I am so grateful for this journey.  Many don’t get the opportunity to step away from the hustle of Corporate America to truly find themselves.  Most that do, don’t take advantage of the time given.

I asked God to give me insight into what my purpose was nearly eight years ago.  Once revealed, I remained disobedient for years afterwards.  Now that I’ve allowed God to remove garments of fear from my soul, I am not only grateful but proud of the talents he blessed me with.  I am a writer, a counselor and motivator to many and most importantly, the sole caregiver of a young man that is destined to heal the world in his own way.  I am so thankful and honored.  Therefore, I vow to never let my light go dull, to consistently work on perfecting my parenting and writing skills, and to combine diligent work and non-wavering faith.  My eyes have finally seen God’s glory and my feet shall forever follow.

 

Over the past few days, the world’s media has had non-stop coverage of the hunt and capture of the Boston Marathon bombers.  The blasts resulted in three deaths including an eight year old boy.  His death made me recount another disheartening event when twenty elementary age children were gunned down in Newtown, CT December of last year.  While driving on highways, I see Amber Alerts flashed across electronic bill boards often.  Facebook posts give daily reminders that somebody’s baby is missing with pleas for the child’s safe return.  Today, I give gratitude for God’s constant protection on me, my children, my siblings and parents.

My son, who will be turning nine this year, spends most of his waking hours during the week at school and after school.  During this time, his well being is placed in the hands of school administration, bus drivers and after school teachers.  He has never come home harmed mentally or physically.  He and I are in the car quite often, we have flown and drove across the country and he spends a lot of time outdoors with his friends.  Thank God for ensuring we, most importantly he, made it home safely.  He may be bruised and scratched up due to his adventures of being a boy king, but his injuries has been nothing that home remedies and kisses in the right places can’t fix.

As I’m preparing to give life to another child, I am grateful for the power of motherhood and God giving me the ability to create and birth life.  It’s not until I lost a child due to a miscarriage that I truly began to understand the magic of carrying life within my womb.  As an unmarried mother of two, I have struggled many days financially yet Tyler and I have NEVER been without food, shelter, clothes and love.  I know God will safeguard the newest addition to our family as well.  I love him so much so this!!

Lastly, 2013 has seen a lot of deaths, either naturally or from senseless violence.  Nearly everyone I know has been to a funeral of someone who left this earth way too soon.  I couldn’t imagine the grief of my parents having to bury me.  All parents wish to have their children out live them.  Lord knows, I’ve had my knucklehead moments.  I also travel a lot by myself and love a good adventure.  God assured that I never ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I look forward to seeing my parents at my children’s graduations.

I’m so fortunate to have my family and God in my life.  I’m learning to become less controlling of every moment and give custody of my life to the creator of my life.  In this day and age it seems as if the world is going to hell in a hand basket.  Therefore, being grounded and one with God as well as consistently keeping your children, brothers, sisters and parents in prayer is a must.  Giving gratitude to God for doing just what you ask for is an additional must!

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children–” Psalms 103:17