“Son we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded…”
Colonel Nathan R. Jessep played by Jack Nicholson

The first few months dating a new prospect you are becoming infatuated with the person’s representative.  Most single adults are aware of this simply because they are putting on a front too.  We’ve all been there, done that and keep doing it again.  In some instances, give the courtship 90 days and the person you are dating starts becoming everything you were hoping they wouldn’t be.  This person now is a champion playa, keeps a home so filthy that the door knob has dust, has replaced saying grace before meals with remarks like “this shit looks good” and has farts that sound so wet coming out that you throw up in your mouth a little bit. 

So what other choice do you have but to leave the walking ringworm?  If not,  you may be forced to sleep in shit stained sheets!  If you decide to leave, you more than likely will beat yourself up for lack of judgement.  You will put yourself through hours of self interrogation for not noticing the signs and/or ignoring the gut instinct that made your stomach churn when you wondered if they were the one.  Your daily prayer list has grown with the added request for an honest mate.

Just imagine receiving from a love interest what you state you desire in every mate – complete honesty.  What if the person revealed upfront that they are not exclusively dating anyone-and don’t plan to?  Acknowledging they only have time  to worry about their own needs.  Would you never speak to them again although you enjoy hanging out with them?  I think it’ll be a safe bet to assume that half of you would continue the game of cat and mouse.  Falsely believing that you have the emotional strength to stay in your lane.  Some may be ignorant enough to believe they can change their suitors minds. 

Lanes typically have a thick yet easily crossable line.  In the dating world it’s between friendship and fucking, homie and lover or should and shouldn’t.  Even knowing that your “friend” could care less about being considered marriage material, you still stick your toe across the line.  As if a tiny step makes you less susceptible to eventually having your feelings hurt than jumping in head first.  Regardless of knowing there is no chance in a cold hell that you and your “friend” will walk down the aisle in this lifetime, you still grow to like them.  You still choose to spend intimate moments with them.  You still choose to exchange fuck faces with them. Friends are friends because they like being around each other – right? 

It’s been my observation recently that today’s culture lacks self-control and we simply want what we want and worry about the consequences later.  Myself included.  However, all of us have to come to a point in our lives where instant gratification no longer excites us.  Especially if it devalues our long-term goals for ourselves.  So whether it be your gut instinct on the words coming out of someone’s mouth, listen to both and allow it to guide your actions.  Our creator only gives us what we can handle.  Frankly, a lot of us don’t want to handle to truth. Or a real relationship.

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