“The construction of words
used to form a poem
follows the melody of lead
harmonizing with tattered paper
that calms the pulsating pain
of a wounded soul
wrapped so tightly in hope
that the feeling of failure
can’t circulate in the hearts
of those that read the constructed stanzas”
©2011 Tenisha M Jones

Many of us believe and preach that the tongue is one of man’s most powerful weapons. As a poet, I write out my dreams because I believe I can truly bring words to life.  Currently, I try not to  mention the past in my pieces unless I’m speaking of a solution.  The past is behind me and verbal repetition of my mistakes causes wounds to remain open.  I’m on a path of healing myself from the nasty combination of diseases self loathing, procrastination and naysaying thoughts. 

Maybe odd to some,  but I strongly believe continual ungrateful, envious, and/or doubtful thought patterns-become engrained and registered in your brain’s chemical make up.  This is what causes true innovative imagination to be displayed as nightmarish scenes that kills belief in one’s self.  The recapping of demonic images spews pessimistic energy attracting bullshit circumstances and like-minded people who have a passion for hating life.  But at one point,  the burden of hatred – “I hate we didn’t work out, I hate I didn’t get that job, I hate her ass looks better than mine, I hate this city” – fills souls and leaves little room for joy.  We would all love to enjoy living more, but we have to re-train our brains.  Once this process begins. positive thoughts yield positive words and actions.

Members of Alcoholics Anonymous and I have a lot in common, we want to live a life clean and sober of  harmful patterns.  It’s a daily struggle.  The recovery is ongoing for me because after 30 years of conditioning, I’m addicted to dissatisfaction.  The feeling of never having enough of what I want doesn’t escape me for long.  And I know better.

Mental rehabilitation is Step 0 in any recovery program.  The transformation to a positive person from a negative person can’t be done overnight.  But it can be accomplished.  While doing research online, I came across these steps of personal accountability to help implement mental rehabilitation:

*We admit we were powerless over addictions—that our lives had become unmanageable.
*Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
*Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 
*Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
*Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
*Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
*Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
*Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
*Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
*Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
*Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 
*Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Does the above mentioned 12 steps sound familiar?  These outlined action items were proposed in 1939 by the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous to assist in the “recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems“.  Denying oneself the ability to enjoy every moment of life is a compulsive behavioral problem that unfortunately too many of us suffer from. 

Due to the fact that detrimental thinking is the norm in this world, CDC has yet to label this condition as an ear born disease.  Yet it’s destroying our bodies by causing stress, crumbling the foundation of relationships due to lack of self-worth and diminishing hope that dreams are obtainable. 

I’m tired of suffering from it and I am on my way to recovering the optimistic pieces of me.  I need the help of my readers.  Those that are having a hard time remaining blissful and excited about the realities and lessons of life, make your views anonymous.  The tongue is one of the universe’s most powerful weapons and I’ve chosen to use mine’s to save lives.  Can I be your sponsor?

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