Sometimes I have to stop myself from staring when images of Black Love
Black Men loving their Black Sistars
are placed in front on me
my glances aren’t subconscious clues of internal envy
and I’m not a pantomime actor stating why not me
but I am searching for answers through the vividness
displayed in the Black male’s eyes

 I watch the movement of his chest
curious of the patterns of heartbeats
that beats for someone else

And I want him to tell me
What was it about the person they choose to love that took away the urge for their eyes to roam?
What gave them the security to turn in their hearts without fear of it being imprisoned for life?
What act made them want to profess this woman as “wifey”?

I stare in admiration of their courage
©2011 Tenisha M Jones

Contrary to a lot of men’s beliefs, women want to be the inspiration, source of drive and confidant for their love interest.  Society, churches and the media all say the same thing “behind every good man is a good woman.”  Sadly, these days adults have problems communicating clearly what they deem to be “good” for them.  And not just “good” for right now, but what attributes are needed in their potential mate to elevate them to greatness-mentally, spiritually and emotionally? We’ve been conditioned in this dating realm to not come off as needy with a checklist of “I need you to” mantra’s.

Black men aren’t generally known for wearing their heart on their sleeves unless backed into an emotional corner.  A woman doesn’t want to force her love interest into revealing his intimate thoughts of her and his premonitions of their future together.  In order to have a healthy dating life, something has to give.  A lot of relationships could have flourished further and many of us would not be single today if lines of communication weren’t blocked.  It becomes hard to breathe life when your mouth is closed.

Black Butterfly was started to end misconceptions between the genders by discussing topics that allows us to examine things from another perspective.  A woman can’t begin or pretend to think like a man.  Conversely, if a man thinks like a women…well he’s not going to admit it or he’s has no interest in learning more about women.

Many women think cooking skills, a tight ass, decent credit score and well maintained home puts them at the top of  the “wifey material” list.  A friend of mine stated in his Facebook status “most men nowadays can cook and clean after themselves, it’s time for the ladies to step their game up.” 

Fellas, the ladies need an ally oop.  What are you looking for in a relationship/partner?  What’s some things in a woman that you can’t live without?  All women aren’t pretending to be know it all’s.  Fellas, teach the ladies how to love.

Share your views below.

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