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Meeting another single person who you find mentally and physically stimulating is like attempting an Easter Egg hunt in grass that hasn’t been mowed for six months.  The chase derived from the desire of a sweet treat is irritating and makes your skin crawl, but you continue the hunt.  You understand without risk, there’s no reward. So you continue to subject yourself to stepping in shit, bug bites, sweat, blood and tears to put your hands around and claim with confidence  that you’ve found love.  Or an egg.  However, before wedding bells ring , you need to get through the first few dates. 

There’s an old folk tale that says a man knows in the first fifteen minutes whether or not he’ll marry a woman.  Conversely, it’s also believed that a woman knows whether or not she’s going to have sex with a man within fifteen minutes.   But what if on date one he begins to think she’s marriage material but she wants him to make love to her like a savage beast into the wee hours of  the morning? What if she comes on so strong that if he didn’t put her to sleep with his man tool he would have went home emasculated – so he gives her what she wants?  Due to assumption making and lack of fact-finding conversation, now Mrs. Future has turn into the fifteen minute trick in his mind.  In reality, she hasn’t had a man touch her in over 9 months and on the Wifey Scale she’s a 8. 

When two people meet and the energy between the two spirits is mind-boggling, intriguing, exciting and rarely experienced, the brain capacity of mature adults reverts to the days of puberty.  With age we understand that bubbling in our stomach once described as butterflies is actually anxiety.  With maturity we also think we know more than we actually do, which makes us less inquisitive.  Especially since social networking makes it easy for people to “read” a person’s bio for the past year.  “How to Not Chase A Date Away” topic related magazine articles has us believing the less questions we ask and/or the less we reveal of ourselves to our dating prospects in the beginning is the better.

Acquaintances who do not have the ability to communicate properly with each other will never forge a healthy lasting relationship.  Many individuals don’t have the ability to communicate with their peers or children effectively, let alone someone they view as real dating potential wrapped in Sex God packaging. 

We all know Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity and if you’re reading this article, I’m assuming being classified as single until your golden years in not your life’s ambitions.  So what would happen if we revealed more of ourselves and our desires earlier in new countships?  I’m up for the challenge.

I’d like to hear from you.  What are some good questions to ask on the first few dates to avoid the scenario mentioned above?  What should you ask to gauge if the person is relationship material?

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